party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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