I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
