She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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