Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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