sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
