operation harelip BJ is a go
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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