i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
