dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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