No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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