Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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