corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
