Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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