He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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