is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
