Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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