Christians are straight up FREAKS
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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