He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
