Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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