Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize