Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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