Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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