Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
