sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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