p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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