He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
