i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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