yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
