That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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