i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
