I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
