I'll bet she douches with gravy.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
