highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
