I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
