my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
