made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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