Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I need to calm my uterus...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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