I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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