I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
