my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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