tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
