we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize