question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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