Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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