dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
