dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize