Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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