So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
