i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
