I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
