i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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