So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
