I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
