i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
