It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
