New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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