oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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