remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
