I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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