I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize