i think i have herpe
just one?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I cut my penus on the lid.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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