big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
