Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
