just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
