Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
