We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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