she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize