We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
