I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
