Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize