I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
