At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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