haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
