Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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