I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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