some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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