I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
