That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
