Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
